…I Guess I Grew Up…

I remember when I used to be amazed simply by the way the sun streamed into my bedroom through the curtains.
I remember when the stars were wonderous and I could stare for hours, and feel empowered by them, the tiny pinpricks of light.
I remember when it was enough to be laying on my bed, listening to music, not a care in the world.
I remember when it was easy to be joyous and stress-free, it was automatic, like breathing.
I remember when I didn’t have bills. It was great.
I remember when this song, this music, used to scream at my soul. And I remember screaming back.
I remember when summer was mild, and I enjoyed being in the sun.
I remember being content to hang out with the cats.
I remember when I didn’t need glasses, and I didn’t know what needles felt like, and I didn’t have to monitor all the sugar going into my blood.
I remember when I thought I was invincible and I never once thought I’d end up with some sort of terrible condition.
I remember when I could eat something and not have to think about it.
I remember sitting in a classroom for hours on end, bored out of my brains, and now I realise how much time I wasted.

Now I’m Diabetic, and it feels like my fault. I don’t like that pang of non-sensical guilt.
Now I stress about bills and living conditions.
Now I have no kitties.
Now I don’t notice the sky, or the clouds, or the stars.
Now I barely have time to breathe.
Now I have glasses, and contacts, and I can barely put the bastards in my eyes.
Now I know the touch of a needle every day. I know the feel, I know the sting, I know the mark it leaves.
Now I have to think about breathing.
Now summers scorch and burn and I spend my days sweating, nights in sleeplessness.
Now I listen to music to take me back to other times. Other feelings, other memories and countless depressive moods… just to be selfish and live in the past for a little while.

X…Cheshire Kittin…X

Birthday – So Close.

I’m going to be 21, in like…. *counts in head* twelve days. Shit. That’s like, an adult. With responsibilities, and maturing to be done…

Nah, screw that. I’m having a Faerie party! I was even writing out the guideline for the Wild Hunt on my lunch break and one of the old birds asked me if I was for real when I explained what I was doing. Come on! Doesn’t it sound like awesome fun?!

I may not neccessarily be wearing faerie wings, because I haven’t found any epic enough, and I don’t really have the time to perfect my own, but it will be magical.

It’s going to be a cold night, and there will be food to warm the insides, spiced wine to warm the bones, and fire to warm the hands and feet.

There will be no harsh fluoros or globes, just the sparkle of faerie lights, strung every where like millions of servile glow-worms.

We’ll eat and drink and go on a Wild Hunt and ET CAKE!

Oh yes. Birthday Joy.

X…Cheshire Kittin…X

I Am Into…

* Victorian Nonsense
* Military inspired fashion
* Tattooery
* Cooking. Creating. Feeding people!
* British comedy
* The Taste of Brown Sugar
* Cartoons
* Tim Burton Movies
* Sherlock Holmes
* Whities flipping the peace sign in photos
* The Japanese Eating Experience
* Lineage 2 Online, DOA, Dragon Quest (Especially #8 – Journey of The Cursed King)
* Movies
* Medieval History
* Irish alcohol
* The Mighty Boosh
* Fantasy/Sci-Fi Reading Materials (Embarrasingly Including WarHammer Novels).
* Gypsies
* The smell of old books… libraries…
* Collecting English China Tea Cups/Sets
* Tweed & Tartan
* Comedic Muscials/Music (The Mighty Boosh, Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog, Scrubs, Flight of The Conchords).
* Corsetry
* Classic reads like Alices Adventures in Wonderland & Through The Looking Glass, Macbeth, Parzival, Pride & Prejudice…
* Tea parties
* Victorian and Rococo style shoes
* Petticoats & Seamed Stockings…
* Winter Weather

Sick.

I’m sick of the way it takes a minumum of an hour and a half to get anywhere. I’m sick of having to walk home in the dark. I’m sick of having to wait half an hour for buses and pulling a favour to leave work five minutes early to get a stupid early bus. I’m sick of being a burden to people I want to see. I’m sick of never being able to get to peoples houses. I’m sick of walking home lopsided with shopping because I don’t have any where else to put the weight but my shoulers. I’m sick of being a donkey with packs. I’m sick on being an inconvenience. I’m sick of not being able to go to dinner because I can’t get there quick enough. I’m sick of not having my L’s because I have to get a medical assessment because I have diabetes. It’s a well managed condition, not a life changing disease. I’m sick of relying on others to get me places and I’m sick of boundaries and barriers and bullshit. I’m sick of distance and I’m sick of time and I’m sick of money.

I’m Sick.

A Bit Of An Update, See

Never fear, my tiny blogsphere, I am in fact, ALIVE.

So sporadic have my posts been… I do apologise. Here are my excuses – I’ve had house inspections, weekends upon weekends of full plans and then trying to get my uniform clean at eight pm on a sunday night, getting sick, trying to get my L’s and getting knocked back for a medical assessment because I have diabetes (how shit is that?!). I’ve been working and working and the casual hours got cut so now I have to do department wide closes by myself.

My birthday, it draws closer, rubbing it’s hands under the moonlight like a hamster in front of a gouda brick. My delicious and incredible present from my parents, (and various other generous people), has been revealed, obviously so I could tell them I did indeed want it. Oho, I am such a lucky Kittin. I will post photos after my birthday, for now it will remain a mystery to the, what, two of you who read my blog? Hi Mum and Roxi! Well, it’ll remain a mystery for one of you. Oh shit I think I told Roxi too. Hahaha, well, I’ll post pictures anyway because I’m excited.

I’ve not quite started on my costume yet, I’ve got wings and a mask to make, and the outfit itself to decide on, but the shoes, the shoes have come in! I had to order them from, I think, the UK, special ordered from Burlesque Baby in perth ^_^
www.burlesquebaby.com.au
Fookin awesome, go check it out.

I just finished reading Russel Brand’s autobiography. Now, I’ll admit, I thought he was a bit of a wanker, and a womaniser. It turns out he’s both, but he’s recovered from the latter, and, well yeah he’s a bit of a wanker. His writing style was something I didn’t expect. He’s actually very intelligent. You wouldn’t think so just looking at him, but the way he comes across in his book is in some ways completely disarming, and in other ways he’s exactly as you’d imagine. It was a very interesting read, and I think, worth my time.

What have you been up to lately, munchkins?

X…Cheshire Kittin…X

Ten Things I’m Loving

* Learning to make glass beads – a couple of weekends ago I did a workshop on how to hand craft glass beads. It was run by my mothers mentor (Pelican), Rhiannon, at Autumn Gathering. See the post below for a picture of my two attempts… It was so much fun, and I think I rather like the thought of making my own beads for jewellery making, because I’m not so fond of commercial ones. It’s why I stopped beading in the first place; the low quality and high price of beads and materials. Materials like tiger tail wire and good crimps etc, I’m quite willing to pay for, but beads… they sell the crappest, lowest quality junk and expect us not to notice. So yes, Venetian glass beads!

* Being cooked for – I got home from a big weekend away and Boy cooked for me. I wasn’t even allowed in the kitchen, he asked a few questions from the door and then closed it again ^_^ I was charged with going into the lounge and watching something while I waited. Awesome! (He made a bolognese style pasta bake, garlic bread and a simple salad. Impressed!)

* Being inspired to create – I’ve come to the conclusion that I really do need to see other peoples creations and enthusiasm to spark my own. This is not to say that I copy other peoples stuff, I think it’s more of a competitive streak. Or I tend to get into an ‘if they can do it, surely I can have a crack’ kind of mood. Most of the time I’m frightened to attempt something new, because I think that people more skilled will look down on me as childish and silly. This is why sometimes I have problems learning things =P But after this weekend, I feel like I’m itching to create and make wonderful things and learn!

* Camping – A la Medieval. There really is nothing like it. Getting up in the morning with the rest of the campsite and organising breakfasts for god knows how many people… Staying up late in front of the fire because it’s really frigging cold, but drinking lots to keep you completely toasty… Soup, and delicious roast meats, and coffee and hot tea…

* Nandos. Seriously.

* Running Wiv Little Scissorz.

* Accidentally absorbing the accents of people around me…

* Pie. Mini apple and berry pie. With ice cream. Yeahhh.

* Skating/ice skating – super fun.

* Listening to music I haven’t listened to in ages – I played some original My Chemical Romance this morning and realised I’m still completely in love with the music and it’s still relevant. Yeah I know – emo =3

X…Cheshire Kittin…X

Autumn Gathering 2010

The Baronial Pavillion

This weekend was the big camping weekend – Autumn Gathering. The Baron Killic and Baroness Branwen came down from Aneala to support the Shire of Boesenberg, there were a lot of art and science workshops, several tourneys and archery competitions, and Veil Le Pantera even ran some kids boffa tourneys. (For those of you who don’t know, a boffa sword is made of foam and cover in duct tape ^_^ So it’s uber safe for children. Or tards.) I even helped run one fo the feasts. Ninety people, two entire spitted lambs, twelve chickens, a whole lotta beef and kilos after kilos of  vegetables that I peeled and chopped and thankfully had a little help with.

The Baron & Baroness accompanied by their Guard & Champions

It was a hard weekend, helping the autocrats keep things organised and running smoothly, but also a lot of fun. I’ve been playing in the SCA since I was six. Yeahhh I’m a veteran. But I don’t think I’ve ever been so involved in the background running of an event before, and certainly never one this big. Gives you a certain appreciation for what’s been going on behind the scenes while you prance around in pretty dresses.

Oh The Populace...

I also had a lot of fun too. I got to participate in several workshops. I missed out on a couple I wanted to do as well… But I actually got to try my hand at glass bead making, and it was such an awesome process. Heating up and melting glass, winding it onto a mandril and shaping it… Very awesome. Slightly dangerous, but super awesome.

I made beads!

I got to judge the weekends Arts & Science competition as well, which involved tasting a delicious dish of Venison in red wine, prepared from a period recipe. Ha, I liked judging ^_^

There were so many tournaments and so much food…. gah. What a weekend. I also became an apprentice to the Baron. Bring on the learning!

Lord Chulain (AKA Father) Escorts Me Up To Their Excellencies

I Receive The Apprentices Green Belt

Yeah. What a weekend…

X…Cheshire Kittin…X

Technibabble

I finally got my hair falls in the mail the other day… I was waiting for them and because we’ve just moved I wasn’t actually sure where the letterbox is. It turned out they’d been there a day already! In the bucket that serves as our letter box.

The wonderful Milleh of www.technibabble.weebly.com made them, they are awesome and warm and feel incredibly soft. They look different to what they looked like on her site, but in a more vibrant way.  I had expected lilac and raspberry, but they’re deep purple and cherry red with nuances of blue. They also came with flatlace in UV reflective purple, but it was such an unexpected win, for something I completely missed in the photos!

I swear it took about half an hour to put them in though. I did actually go and have a shower, wash my hair and dry it so my fringe would be clean and straight. But I ended up having to put buns so high up on my head that they were almost directly on top of my head.  Something my hair wasn’t used to, but as soon as I managed it I burst out laughing because I looked so freaking silly. Then, with the addition of the falls – Fucking Awesome.

I didn’t think that they’d suit me so well, but it turns out that they do, incredibly so!

What do you think?

…Cheshire Kitten…

Neeplew00t

**I am a princess, all girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren’t pretty or smart or young. They’re still princesses. All of us. Didn’t your father ever tell you that? Did he? He told me.**

I’ve had a good weekend. Apart from having to work saturday, I went to Roxi’s and we stayed up late talking, eating and watching Aladdin. Drinking absinthe… well, not much absinthe on my part, but still.

We also watched Whip It. Now, I’m a HUGE fan of Ellen Page. I love her. She’s quirky and freaky and a pretty good actor. She has balls, that girl, and is also TINY. (Lol.)

I’ve been begging my mum to teach me how to skate properly for ages, because I only know how to blade, and it seems far more skillful to be able to skate. (Also, I’m pretty sure she was some sort of speedskating demon/champion, which is awesome).

I’m thinking I might just start spending extra time getting my skate on. I mean, I can already skate I’m just not so good with the skates, I’m down with the blades. Plus, I need to be more active, blargh.

P.S. I need to dress more like Ellen Page ^_^

Next week though, it will be mental. Easter next weekend means fun times at work =/ But also, by thursday it will be over, and I will have the rest of Easter to do absolutely nothing but have fun at Autumn Gathering. Mum’s been busy sewing me, like, everything, and I’m working my way through my embroidery projects as fast as I can without mucking them up…

What’s goin on with chu?

X…Cheshire Kittin…X

Ten Things I Love This Week

* Blue Skies and White Clouds – after the two and a half hour journey home monday, forty minute wait for food and evening by candle light, I’ll never take electricity for granted again.

* Big couches – you frigging rock. Big, fluffy, wide, arm rests, yeah, that’s how it’s meant to be. As a side note – recliners = FTW

* Glitter – it’s getting closer to my birthday and quite honestly, there’s glitter everywhere. I’m getting so excited!

* Embroidery – I’m really enjoying the work I’ve been doing. I can’t wait to start the next project!

* Knitting – I’m considering taking it up. I already learned to crochet, not that I remember how =P but I’ve seen some really cute knits around lately and I’d love to have some cute things for winter (that no one else has). Plus, my head is like, big, so normal hats, like girl hats, only just fit my head, and for once, dammit, I’d like a knitted hat that sits comfortably!

* Movie Nights – yewwwwwwww. Popcorn, aka copporn, is the best. Any excuse.

* Silly photos. Sometimes I receive amusing photos during the day which make me laugh my ass off, and also get me in trouble with the manager because then I have to explain why I’m laughing my ass off. But still, my friends are awesome.

* Running Wiv Little Scissorz

* Working on Saturdays – Nah, I’m just shitting you.

* Easter eggs, because seriously, is there a flavour they don’t come in?

X…Cheshire Kittin…X